we are rebels

i've never been very prolific on this blog, but my posting declined even more once i got a tumblr. my roommate and i post jointly over at 'point broke. see if you can guess which L is yours truly.

last night's trainwreck felt like a flashback to last year. patron shots, gabe saporta, P and R and lah and ian from the cab, dancing, kissing... it's official: R and i are bringing AK back.

so much changed for me in the second half of '08. i got my first grown-up job and apartment; i fell in love with musical theatre again (RIP, spring awakening on broadway); i put down my bass and my pen, hopefully temporarily; and i acquired new friends, new clothes, new favorite restaurants, etc. and yet, as the saying goes, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. i feel like the same person, inside, but less miserable -- and that's not nothing. i'm hoping to make more (positive) changes as the year goes on. 2009 is going to be about concerts, shows, hair accessories, kindness, free love, and finally unsticking my writing mojo.

if i manage the latter, you may start seeing more poems and vignettes and bits and bobs in this space. knock wood for me, chickadees!

p.s. "we are rebels" by alice in videoland is my new jam. at least for today.

poem: "stranger bodies"

In some instances, the body does not respond in the prescribed manner:
A kiss slows the pulse;
The desire to touch manifests in not touching;
Knees press together instead of apart.
The body struggles to be alone, even as the heart yearns for closeness.
Some people were cut out for intimacy;
Others of us take the most literal definition of making love,
Shaping it with our hands, plunging in to our elbows.
We carve shapes with sharp clavicles, with teeth,
And the first push inside is by nature an end,
Though in this case it is a means, too.
We are not meant to be conjoined like this--
One body bucks another like a skittish horse,
Away, even as what is inside longs to cling together.
The blood begins rapidly to cool,
Dropping like mercury as we approach the peak.
We fall, stones to separate sides,
Clinging to the edges of the bed.
Each kissing one's own pulse,
Touching the thin, pale skin at the wrist,
Instead of letting our knees touch, kiss.
The strangeness of each other's bodies keeps us apart;
The love we make is incomplete,
Unsettling,
Undone.

-8 December 2008

i'll do it for you if you'll do it for me

1. i'm currently trying out qumana to see if it's any good. in theory, it would be nice to have a blogging client; it might encourage me to update more often! i'm not really sure if it's worth it, though.
   
   yeah, that was no good. it seemed to be working fine until i hit "publish post" and it just kept spinning its wheels for a good five minutes. i finally cancelled it and closed the program -- i think i'll stick to updating the old-fashioned way, then, thanks.
   
   
2. i am sure that ryan adams is one of my favorites forever, though.
   
   
3. those of you who have been paying attention know that i'm a fan of the cab. they are going on the metro station tour in may with a band called danger radio, who are also pretty fabulous -- i've seen them live and i can vouch for them! the reason i mention them is because i was watching this interview from bamboozle left, and i noticed that the bassist looks a little bit like a young brandon flowers... although not as much e.rigby's friend P does. anyway, prog pop is the new black; get on it.
   
   
4. while you're at it, you should check out anarbor. they sound like what would happen if you threw taking back sunday and hellogoodbye into a blender, added female backup vocals, and put really cute faces on the mixture. super catchy and fun -- i can't get "get your money's worth" out of my head this week. plus, girl bassists are awesome. picture me throwing up the rock horns.
   
   
5. what else? my friend rae attended both honda civic tour dates in san francisco last weekend, and brought back excellent video of panic at the disco. that link will take you to a playlist that lets you watch the whole show in sequence, which is great! go, watch, pretend you were there.

with an old love letter

i am light and shadow and the ash on your tongue.
i am nobody's number one, and that's okay.
i want to have coffee with this man sometime.
i want someone to steal the records i'm going to buy.

i think you look better as a girl

i need to start taking my camera out with me. i've been thinking about narcissism and performative identity a lot lately, but what it really comes down to is that i'm a little sick of my own face.

these days, i've been listening to panic at the disco's pretty. odd. over and over, but thanks to gorilla vs. bear, i've also been rocking out to stricken city's "better as a girl." it's just a demo, but it's kicky and has a great bassline. check out the london-based pop group on myspace -- rebekah raa is pretty rockin'.

sundays are for laundry and catching up on reading for class, neither of which are very much fun. grrr.

i'm also twittering. you can blame my short attention span.

put your heart where your mouth is

i keep meaning to update this thing and failing big time, whoops. life has been strange and crazy and wonderful in the last month and a half since i last posted here. i'm still just a lowly intern, but where i am now is so different from where i was last semester. i finally feel like i'm involved, even in small ways, like i'm doing things that matter.

it's a matter of WEEKS until i graduate and have to face the real world. in the meantime, i am letting myself get wrapped up in friends and concerts and shenanigans. i've been falling in love with albums that aren't out yet, learning how to do jaeger shots with no hands, embracing purple lamé miniskirts, eating takeout at my favorite bar, kissing everyone's faces... the way i see it, i have less than a decade left to be this ridiculous.

currently, i am sick, along with almost everyone who made the trip out to farmingdale last weekend. it was worth it, though!

i can't stop listening to "risky business" by the cab -- stream it here while we wait another month and a half (ughhh) for the album to drop.

xoxoxo

back to the street where we began

i love (in no particular order)...

1. cherry coke zero. a caffeine fix and a fake sugar rush, all in one delicious, cherry-flavored soda.
   
2. the new panic(!) at the disco track, "nine in the afternoon." you can hear it on their myspace. i'll be the first one to say that nobody is the beatles but john, paul, george, and ringo, but they put the influence to good use. i'm excited for the honda civic tour with motion city soundtrack and the hush sound, oh yes!
3. the hush sound's latest tracks, "honey" and "medicine man." they sound all kinds of wonderful, and greta salpeter's voice has matured so much since the last album. go listen!
   
4. pictures from the really really ridiculously good looking tour weekend (january 18-20), as posted by nelley @ castanet clap, rae @ fyrehaus, and mel @ riot photography. i've given up trying to recap it, because it's kind of just a blur of hotsexyawesomebrightlightsfangsupdanceparty.
5. the cab. i blame my friend lex, whose enthusiasm is catching, but the band was also terrific live -- lots of energy, equal parts bopping and shredding, and keyboardist alex marshall's megawatt smile.
   
6. she & him, a.k.a. zooey deschanel & m. ward. i am not intensely familiar with the latter's work, but i have such a giant crush on zooey, it's stupid. stereogum posted "why do you let me stay here," and i enjoy it, but it's the cover of "i should've known better" that's going to knock me off my feet.
   
7. cadbury creme eggs. the duane reade down the street from me started stocking them in december, which seems weird to me. i held out until today, and now i'm afraid i won't be able to keep from eating them every day until easter.
   
8. pinkberry and tasti d-lite. because winter is the best time for frozen treats. riiight.
   
9. black eyeshadow. i'm currently rocking this shadow/liner combo from maybelline, but i'm planning to upgrade to MAC as soon as i can afford it.
10. my bass, forever and ever amen. i'm about to lose my most favorite bass teacher, unfortunately, but i'll always have james and her sweet, sweet groove.